If you find yourself overeating, eating when you're not hungry, never truly feeling full, trying to control what and when you eat, or any variation of these things then you are not alone. I have lived in that terrible space and it is frustrating, depressing, and exhausting. It inevitably makes you feel bad about yourself because you "have no willpower" or because you ate the "wrong" things...and other shaming things we say to ourselves.
Here's the thing. If you're an overeater, focusing on food will only make things worse. What I mean by "focusing on food" is thinking that what you eat and when you eat is the route to overcoming overeating. This is a super common thing that we do when we feel out of control with food. But when we make food the first thing we focus on--and try and control--we actually make things a whole lot worse.
Focusing on food is always about deprivation. If we're overeating, we shame ourselves and say things like, "Starting tomorrow, I'm cutting out all sugar and bread from my diet!" or "I'm going to eat all vegan starting tomorrow!" or some version of a NOT ALLOWED list. And almost IMMEDIATELY we get that funny feeling inside of fear and anxiety and desire to eat eat eat! Your mind is throwing a temper tantrum!! It's freaking out at the thought of deprivation!
So if focusing on food doesn't work, what does?
When we overeat, it is actually NEVER about the food. It is about some emotional need we are fulfilling. Overeating is the SYMPTOM not the problem!
Our body is always communicating with us--we just need to decipher what it is saying.
So what is the root of overeating? It's different for everybody. So often there is an underlying feeling of anxiety when we eat too much or eat when we aren't hungry. If you were able to slow down the moments before you reached for food (or more food)...if you could slow it down frame by frame like a movie...you would be able to examine the thoughts and feelings you had that lead you to food. You'll start to learn what CAUSED that anxiety to begin with. And that's the magic place!
Food is SO GOOD at making us feel better. That's why we use food to deal with our difficult emotions. But we all know that as much as it solves the problems of difficult of emotions, it creates a myriad of other problems for us! So ultimately, as effective as it is, we need to unearth the core reasons why it is happening and then deal with those reasons in healthier ways.
So your task is to start paying attention to your thoughts, words to yourself, and feelings prior to eating too much or eating when you're not hungry. Allow yourself to be surprised. Allow yourself to go deep. Don't be afraid--when you discover what it is (and there may be multiple things!) you are then EMPOWERED to do something about it! Get help with this if you're able to. I got help from my coach when I was dealing with this (story for another email but I'll tell you all about it, I promise!) and it was TRANSFORMATIONAL.
If you're ready to break free from the shackles of emotional eating (OMG it feels so good!) then email me and we can hop on the phone and have a 45 minute free mini-session! Zero attachment to outcome on my part...you'll leave the call with a much clearer understanding of what is going on with you and some actions to start transforming things. If you feel called to do the deeper work, we can talk about working together and if not, no problem! I love the opportunity to talk to my peeps and get to know them better.
Sending loads of love,
P.S. Reminder: Virtual Goddess Gathering this Saturday! More info and sign up here!