Goddess Gathering

Why this is CRUCIAL to understand.

I'm feeling a bit fiery today, just a heads up!

Basically, I'm enraged, outraged, fed up, scared, sick to my stomach, overwhelmed, depressed, fired up...etc etc etc...about what is going on in the world today. I'm seriously pissed off. The topics that set my off are pretty vast. Treatment of people of color and minorities, the blatant homophobia and transphobia, the abasement of the environment, the selling of women and children into sexual slavery, the modern slave trade of men, women, and children, the inequity of justice of poor people vs. rich (white) people, the gross inequity of wealth, the culture of blame that just seems to be the norm right now (accept personal responsibility you a**holes!), the fact that people are put into prison for possession of drugs yet companies that swindle the American public and cause millions to lose all they've saved for their entire lives get government bailouts...and on and on and on.

If you've been reading my emails or doing my programs then there's one thing you know I believe in and that's that WE CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE. I really strongly believe that. We are not powerless. We are not just casual observers. WE ARE CRUCIAL to the health and well-being of this planet and all the lives on it. I don't think we have to be in a position of great power to make a difference (although I do believe those in positions of great power should absolutely use that power for good) but I do think we need to go out there and make an effort to make a difference. I've said this before but I believe our greatest super power is KINDNESS. People can just roll their eyes at me when I say that. To those people I say: pay attention. Pay attention to how you feel when people are kind vs. how you feel when people are rude. It is small. It is simple. But it makes a massive difference.

Now...here's the thing:

I believe women are being called to rise. I know in my bones that this is necessary and crucial to the healing of the planet.

In these past few years, we have witnessed the suppression, violation and abuse of the feminine. I understand that that suppression, violation and abuse has always been there but it is truly being brought to the light in such obvious ways that it has actually felt like an invitation to rise up and say NO MORE.

In order to rise up powerfully, you first need to understand the systemic ways you have been held back. When you begin dismantling these paradigms internally, it inevitably leads to the dismantling of the collectively, setting all women free. 

So to this end, I'm going to start doing Facebook Lives in my Virtual Goddess Gathering group on what these paradigms are and how we can dismantle them. They are subtle. You know about some of them but I promise you, you can't see most of them because they are the water we are swimming in.

The first class I'm going to teach is on the "You're Not Good Enough" paradigm. It's going to be good! You think you know but I'm telling you--you don't know the half of it! AND WHAT YOU DON'T KNOW IS HOLDING YOU BACK. IT'S HOLDING YOU DOWN. And it is DEPRIVING THE WORLD of your FULL POWER. This class will be on FB Live on Thursday, May 31st at 5:30pm PDT. I want you to be there live BUT if you can't be, the FB Live will stay up in the group and you can watch it later.

IT IS THAT IMPORTANT TO UNDERSTAND THIS STUFF. The health of this planet and the inhabitants of it DEPEND ON YOU understanding these bullsh*t lies that we've all been living in as if they were Truth.

The world is literally dying for the Feminine.

TO THE MEN ON MY LIST: I know most of you and I am so grateful for you. I know you to be part of the solution. THANK YOU for being our allies. WE NEED YOU. I still want you on my list because the masculine and feminine being out of balance in this world affects all of us. It hurts men, too. I'll write more on that another day.

So--WOMEN!! If you're ready to start breaking free, please sign up for the Virtual Goddess Gathering and join the FB group. The link to the group is in the welcome email.

I told you I was fired up!

No song today. But send me your suggestions, please!

Love love love and HOPE FOR OUR FUTURE,

Elijah

 

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Women, Self Care, and Food.

Many people reached out to me a bit worried because I didn't write on Sunday. Thank you for your love :)

What happened was a mix of family craziness tossed in with travel combined to create a perfect storm of extra-busy plus a little overwhelm. And I decided it was okay to take care of myself first, which meant not writing the newsletter. It isn't that I'm not committed to reaching out--I'm SO COMMITTED. But my first commitment is to my self care. I've learned the hard way that if I don't honor my needs, things really go to hell in a hand basket quite quickly. And if I'm depleted, then I have nothing to give and my family, friends, and work and all will suffer.

Women, self care, and food. Women are incredibly hard on themselves. Our culture has carefully trained us to be this way. We are taught to believe our happiness is connected to the happiness of others. If our happiness is connected to the happiness of others that means we work tirelessly to take care of the needs of those around us and if we aren't doing this for even a moment, we feel GUILTY. Even the most aware among us fall prey to this guilt.

We work tirelessly for the happiness of others while posting social media memes declaring, "HAPPINESS IS AN INSIDE JOB" or similar sentiments. HA!

We post those memes and still don't recognize that our happiness is indeed connected to WHAT IS INSIDE US. What I mean by that is: OUR DREAMS, OUR DESIRES, OUR IDEAS, OUR PASSIONS. We are SO QUICK do dismiss our desires, dreams, and passions. That voice says, "Who am I to want that for myself?" or, "If I follow my dreams I'll be a terrible mom." or "I'll never know enough or be enough to follow that dream." or even worse, "I'm an idiot for even thinking about that!"

Guess what? When we are committed to the happiness of others and we deny our own brilliance, we live in a low level of apathy because "...none of it matters anyway." It keeps us in a place of not wanting more while simultaneously apologizing for wanting things.

When we give, give, give and go, go, go, we are depleted and we end up resentful. Because we feel guilty doing things for ourselves (and because, ultimately, we are not fully expressed as human beings) THE ONLY THING WE CAN RECEIVE FOR OURSELVES IS FOOD AND ALCOHOL.

We are so depleted, the only thing left are the Oreo cookies in the cupboard. The cookies are 100% there for us. They will ALWAYS fill us up. They never let us down. And, best of all, no one will fault us for eating them. They will, however, fault us for not being super thin (or even too thin--seriously, we cannot catch a break) but that's another topic for another email. The point is, EATING is about the only socially acceptable way women have of nourishing themselves!

No wonder we all have such disordered eating habits--disordered physical habits and mental habits, too. And this is yet another way that we are kept apathetic.Listen--this is political. All these stories we are told about what it means to be a "good" woman, mother, daughter, sister, friend in this world HOLD US BACK and KEEP US DOWN. And let there be no doubt--they are designed to do that.

Why? Because women are POWERFUL. I'm not saying we are more powerful than men and that men suck etc...if you're going there in your mind I invite you to simply stop thinking of others just for a moment and consider YOU. Consider YOUR LIFE. Your dreams, hopes, desires...and I mean the dreams and desires that you never even say allowed for fear you'll be judged.

Women are powerful and we have big dreams. We have big solutions to the problems we face. When we allow ourselves to be fully expressed, to own our power unapologetically, and to step into our dreams...WHOA. THE ENTIRE WORLD BENEFITS. Our families benefit. Our friends benefit. WE BENEFIT.

The fact that we feel guilty, the fact that we go, go, go without taking care of ourselves, the fact that really weird and crazy expectations on how we look, what we say, and what we do is something we have bought into is not our fault. It's not men's fault either. This system has been in place for thousands of years. We are the fish in the water--we don't even know we are in water because we don't know anything different.

To be clear, obviously many women and men know there's a different way. But even those men and women continue to understand the ways in which the current cultural paradigm has hurt us and holds us back in deeper ways. And, as you might be able to see, we are in the midst of a powerful cultural awakening in general. It is a very exciting time to be alive! But we all have stuff that we don't know that we don't know. Now is the time to learn a different way of being.

Where do we start? So many of us have not really taken the time to truly ask ourselves what it is we desire. It can be a scary question. It can also be challenging to answer because if we rarely ask it, that muscle is weak and we really aren't sure of the answers!

Here is an exercise for you to start working on this question. It's deceptively simple. I recommend using this as a journal prompt for 5 - 7 days in a row...just set a time and free-write what comes up for you every day. See how things change at the end of 7 days. Then keep up the practice as much as you'd like to--every day or once a week...trust yourself to know how often you need to do this.

EXERCISE: What are 5 things that you would like in your life?

Separate out what you would truly like from what you think is possible! Allowing yourself any feelings or emotions that arise out of the desires that you may have previously “failed at” or “succeeded at not having” for weeks, months or decades.

Exclude the things that you no longer want. You can still write them down, but just flip it so that you are replacing the unwanted state with what you would like to experience instead.

As always, I WOULD LOVE TO HEAR BACK FROM YOU! And I also invite you to join the Virtual Goddess Gathering, where like-minded women show up to support each other in creating change in their lives and the world.

Sending so much love your way,

ElijAH

The Year of the Woman

In the elections of 1992 something happened that had never happened before--four women were elected to the United States Senate. Senator Patty Murray (D-WA), Senator Carol Moseley Braun (D-IL), Senator Dianne Feinstein (D-CA), and Senator Barbara Boxer (D-CA) joined Senator Barbara Mikulski (D-MD) and Senator Nancy Kassebaum (R-KS) to bring the the total number of women United States Senators to six. (California also set the record of being the first state to ever have TWO female senators.) I remember this time so vividly. It was so exciting for me to witness SIX WOMEN in the US Senate! It felt quite tremendous, really!

Of course, looking back I think Mikulski really had it right, remarking that “Calling 1992 the ‘year of the woman’ makes it sound like the ‘year of the caribou’ or ‘year of the asparagus. We’re not a fad, a fancy, or a year.”

Today, in 2018, there are now twenty-two women senators in the US Senate and eighty-three women serving in the US House of Representatives and it definitely doesn't feel remarkable when we hear that a woman is running for the office of senator or representative anymore.

I've been thinking about The Year of the Woman a lot lately, and just how far we have come from that banner year. Of course--we have a long way to go, too. But everywhere I look I see women stepping into their power, showing up where once they were hiding, taking on the status quo and redefining success, power, support, inclusion and so much more. It's truly exciting!

March is International Women's Month...another reason why I've been thinking a lot about The Year of the Woman. I personally think women are da bomb and I believe, now more than ever, that we are being called to take our place at the table and create change in our communities in the world. Side note: LOVE this uplifting story of a group of women strangers making a difference at the airport.

Despite the headlines of 1992, I don't think we've actually experienced The Year of the Woman...yet. But it does feel like it's on the way! The tipping point is near!

In honor of women everywhere, let's blast this song from the rooftops.

Run the World (Girls) Beyoncé

 

Have a kickass week!

And give some props to the women out there making it all happen!

Don't Stop Me Now!

Hello, Gorgeous! How are you? HAPPY SUNDAY! I hope wherever you are there's just enough sunshine to make you smile today.

REMINDER: Virtual Goddess Gathering is HAPPENING and we are going to talk about LOVE. Mostly SELF LOVE and BODY LOVE because that is a THING IN THIS WORLD and people, I intend to do all I can to dismantle this current oppressive beauty and body image insanity and set us FREE! Next Gathering is on Saturday, February 24th at 10am PST. BUT--I am going to do one on a weekday evening, as well...still working on which date will work for that so stay tuned!

A major reason that loving our bodies and loving ourselves is so so important is because when we hate on our bodies (and ourselves because our body is us...not something separate from us) we do REALLY CRAZY MESSED UP THINGS with food. And with exercise. The biggest thing I see people doing is to "moralize" food. You've probably done it yourself because you're a human that lives on the planet. This food is "good". This food is "bad". When I eat "good" food, I'm GOOD. When I eat "bad" food, I feel shame and I spiral down a guilt rabbit hole that has me saying "fuck it" and eating all the food that makes me feel terrible about myself for days. It's a crazy cycle and I've seen it and personally lived it many times before.

It may be counterintuitive, but when we put moral judgment on food we immediately take ourselves out of a healthy mindset. Usually, almost immediately, we feel DEPRIVED even if we aren't hungry. Cravings kick in. We tell ourselves that WILL POWER is where it's at and when we don't have it we think we are lazy, awful, slothful, weak...and we spiral down again.

True food freedom actually comes when we don't moralize food. But that's kind of hard in a culture that bombards us with articles every which way around WHAT TO EAT and WHAT NOT TO EAT and NEVER EAT THIS and ALWAYS EAT THAT...it is crazy making.

Later this week I'm going to send an email that goes into more detail about why our food obsession is making us UNHEALTHY. So look out for that in your inbox!

Now--as you know (and for those of you new to my list and don't know) this is SOUL SONGSUNDAY! Today we are going OLD SCHOOL! CRANK THIS ONE UP AND ROCK INTO YOUR WEEK!

DON'T STOP ME NOW - QUEEN

 

 

 

Don't Stop Me Now

Tonight I'm gonna have myself a real good time
I feel alive and the world I'll turn it inside out - yeah
And floating around in ecstasy
So don't stop me now don't stop me
'Cause I'm having a good time having a good time

I'm a shooting star leaping through the sky
Like a tiger defying the laws of gravity
I'm a racing car passing by like Lady Godiva
I'm gonna go go go
There's no stopping me

I'm burnin' through the sky yeah
Two hundred degrees
That's why they call me Mister Fahrenheit
I'm trav'ling at the speed of light
I wanna make a supersonic man out of you

 

Don't stop me now I'm having such a good time
I'm having a ball
Don't stop me now
If you wanna have a good time just give me a call
Don't stop me now ('Cause I'm having a good time)
Don't stop…

HAVE AN UNSTOPPABLE WEEK!!!

xo,

Elijah

Find Your Tribe

I am so excited for 2018! As you may recall, 2017 kicked my ass. I mean--I think it kicked a lot of people's asses, but with Scott (my husband) coming close to dying from sepsis...and then just as things were getting back to normal he severely broke his leg...and two of our dogs died. Anyway. I'M READY FOR 2018!

Sometimes life flows and sometimes it ebbs. Last year, in terms of Vibrant Living, things ebbed. And that's okay. I've still been coaching private clients every week which is good for my soul and means I continue to grow my coaching skills. And I also got really clear on who I am and what I stand for in this world. I feel like my business was a like a big ocean liner that I decided to make a U-turn with. It took time! But I did it and now the ship is moving in the right direction.

What are some of the things I stand for? Here's a short list:

  • Kindness above all. I truly believe that kindness is our Super Power.

  • Women are badass.

  • There's a lot of phenomenal men out there, too, and I love creating a new paradigm of equality and respect with them.

  • Women have been fed a load of shit around beauty and our bodies and we've bought into it. It's keeping us down and holding us back and whatever I can do to set us free from that oppressive model I'm going to do.

  • Health is much, much more than good cholesterol and low blood pressure. The concept of health must include mental well-being, emotional well-being, access to opportunity, sense of belonging, freedom from oppression...and many more things.

  • Our value is not in how we look. Our value is in how we live our lives and what we bring to the world.

  • Now more than ever, I believe women are being called to stand up and step up into their power. The world is dying for the feminine.

Over the course of 2018 I'll get into detail with you about all these. You may have questions! You may have thoughts! I'm excited!

If any of this resonates with you, then AWESOME! And if you're soooooo not into it, that's okay, too! Straight up: I'm going to be writing more about this stuff this year and if you feel you need to leave this mailing list because it's not your groove I completely understand (and I will be sad to see you go--but ultimately I want you to take care of YOU. Self-care!)

For those of you that are excited about any of this, I invite you to join me this coming Saturday, January 13th, for my first ever Virtual Goddess Gathering! WOOT WOOT! The purpose of this is my drive, passion, desire...and, yes, my obsession to bring like-minded women together to lift each other up and help us all SHINE. I'm going to be doing several of these throughout 2018 and they are all free. I know the power of coming together and it ROCKS. Women are unstoppable when they are in community.

DETAILS:

Date: Saturday, January 13th, 2018

Time: 10am PST, 12pm CST, 1pm EST

Place: Your cozy sofa in your warm home via Zoom video conferencing!

Click here if you want to sign up. And yes, please share this with other women you know looking for their tribe.

Here's to a new year of shifts and transformation,

Elijah

 

Join Me for a Goddess Gathering!

Happy Holidays!! Along with the joy and cheer, this time of year can also feel a bit crazy and intense for so many reasons. My hope and wish for you is that you're taking good care of yourself and that during this time you're with someone you love and who loves you whether that's your family of origin or family of choice.

As we head into the New Year, it's such a great time to look inward, discover and affirm what is important to us, and make some conscious decisions on how we want to move forward into the next 12 months. It's not about making resolutions...it's about the ritual of renewal and the opportunity that provides for us to examine our past and claim our future.

With this in mind, I am finally doing something that I’ve been dreaming of for years and that is to create a virtual space to bring women together in community and support –I’m calling it the Goddess Gathering!

When I lived in NYC, there was a group of women that would get together monthly, make dinner together, hang out and talk about life and give each other support. We’d also laugh a lot and sometimes even cry. We called it our Goddess Night. Ever since moving to San Francisco I've dreamed of recreating that feeling of love, joy, support and laughter.

This is going to be an online version of that gathering. I also have re-envisioned it to have a little structure. I plan on this Goddess Gathering to be the first of many and each will have a theme.

The first virtual Goddess Gathering is Saturday, January 13th and I would love for you to come! The theme of this gathering is Core Desired Feelings—Setting Intentions for 2018!

This Gathering will operate around the ideas of feminism, social justice, women’s empowerment, spirituality (whatever your idea is of the bigger picture!), and living our lives more fully with the support of a community of like-minded women.

There is no cost for this event. It is all about community and connection.

In order to receive all the information you need to join in on January 13th, you'll need to click here and sign up...all the info will follow! I'M SO EXCITED!

DETAILS:

  • Date: Saturday, January 13th, 2018

  • Place: Your computer :)

  • Time: 10am PST - 11:30am PST (1pm EST - 2:30pm EST)

    • A word about TIME. There's no perfect time for me to host this event, and for that I'm sorry! All of us have busy lives and different commitments. I have chosen a time that I hope works well for most people. Regardless, I am asking you to show up powerfully for this event (and in your life!) which may mean creating a clearing for you to be able to attend. I know it can be hard, trust me. But it will definitely be worth it. xo

I can't wait to see you and dig deep into what we want to intentionally create in the New Year!

Love,

Elijah